Thinking About Cheese Burgers on the Job…

say no to cheese

I stopped watching The Simpsons years ago, but I can’t help feeling like Homer Simpson every time I wipe my greasy hands on my filthy overalls while working on a truck in the shop and start thinking about those cheesy little buggers known as cheese burgers. I close my eyes with my wrench in my hand and imagine it’s a slithery, fat burger with loads of cheese, pickles and whoppings of all other sorts of topics this article might reference in the footnotes.

I love the taste, the limitless beauty, the POWER!

Every time I go to work, I smile at myself in the mirror and say, “You’re doing it, man. You’re really doing it! You haven’t thought about cheese burgers yet today. Keep it up!”

But by the time lunch rolls around I fall on my knees and pray, “Please give me the power to get a salad, oh Lord!” And I want to say that this has been working. Even though I think about cheese burgers on the job to the point where it becomes a problem, I never eat them! This is my testimony, this is my dream coming true. I HAVE DONE IT!!!

Thank you so much for the support. I know you can do it, too. I feel your pain, sister!

Cheers to Our Tow Truck Friends over in Winnipeg, Manitoba!

winnipeg trucks

We’re supporters of every Canadian business, whether or not they’re in Kelowna. Of course, we love Kelowna businesses more because we’re awesome, but there’s a special exception to our tow truck driving buddies over in Winnipeg, MB. As usual, you can expect a little a comedy in the story we have to share about them. It all started in 2013 when our auto company was making a shipment of truck parts across Manitoba. After stopping at every fried chicken joint along the way, we finally reached Winnipeg on a stormy night. While trying to find a hotel in the city outskirts, our truck broke down and the rain and wind made working on the engine a difficult task so we decided just to order some tow truck services. Hoping the first company we found on our phone had 24 hour heavy duty towing, we called them, not knowing that night would turn into one of the best nights of our lives. When the tow truck driver on dispatch found out we were an auto company from Kelowna, he treated us a bit differently than we assume he does to average customers. Since we were all chicken gut swaggering Canadian truck lovers, the tow truck driver invited us over to his house for some beers after he finished helping us. He was now off duty and we didn’t feel like sleeping so we said “sure.” Soon enough his co-workers who were off duty joined us, too.

That one would sure would soon turn into many “oh yeahs” and “get somes” as we spent the night playing foosball in his basement. Canadian love poured strong in our hearts that night like true Canadian beer, and we had so much fun that we had to sleep the next day away in a hotel because there was no chance we were hitting the road with that kind of headache.

Now we visit this lovely tow truck Winnipeg company every time we’re in Manitoba. They’re our good friends and they’ll even be coming out to visit our shop soon as we offered to upgrade one of their trucks as a thank you for all the help they gave us on that stormy night in 2013. So if you’re ever in Winnipeg, MB and need a tow truck service, call the boys over at Winnipeg Towing. They’re better at what they do than any towing company in Kelowna, and it ruins our pride to say it but it’s true! We thought they deserved a shot out because some of our readers live in Winnipeg and we thought they’d find this story funny and informative.

We must admit, they’re also a lot better at foosball than anyone we know in Kelowna, and we got our arses whooped. But we’re not giving up! We’ll be challenging them to a foosball tournament sometime this year–Kelowna vs. Winnipeg! Any of our friends are welcome to join us. Just message us on social media or contact us now. You know who you are! We’d love to have you out. This will be the best Canadian truck lovers’ party of the decade!

Thanks for reading and see you next time!

A Greasy Mechanic Dating a Super Model (funny, true story)

kelowna mechanic story

Somewhere in the misty winter streets of Kelowna BC, a greasy, pudgy mechanic left his house after watching a hockey game to celebrate the victory of his favorite team at the local bar. When he got there, his friends were already hammered cheering at the bar, yelling at the cute female bartender for more tequila. Our pudgy mechanic smiled at the sight and couldn’t wait to join his pals as he carried his chicken-filled gut across the dance floor, knocking scraggly dancers aside with ease. He was excited to join the drunken jollity, but when he reached the bar and sunk his inflated arse into a stool, his so-called chums stopped being so cordial and shifted away to the other side of the bar. Our mechanic, wondering why this could be, pulled out a two-week-old White Spot napkin from his pocket to blow his nose and ordered a glass of true Canadian whiskey on the rocks.

“What’s up with you losers sitting all the way over there?” asked our mechanic, swishing his whiskey around in his cheeks.

“Quite frankly,” responded a lanky, weaselly man with buck teeth, “you smell like two-day-old KFC.”

Our mechanic started laughing hysterically, spitting whiskey all over the bar and accidentally knocking a bowl of peanuts onto the floor with his massive gut. “That’s because I just ate a two-day-old bucket of chicken, you genius! What’s the matter? You can’t handle the smell of a real man?”

While our mechanic’s so-called buddies continued to frown, some of them plugging their noses, a beautiful super model visiting from California, with long legs that would make a giraffe drool, put her arm around our mechanic’s shoulder and, after taking a sniff, admitted, “There’s nothing more in this world I love more than the smell of a real man. Mmmm. And I must say, sir, you have the smell to make the Queen drop her wine glass. How about we get a taxi out of this place?”

Our mechanic dropped his draw, his eyes glued to this pretty woman’s cleavage, and murmured, “O-o-o-okay!” Within less than a minute from that moment, our mechanic and his super model friend were already flagging down a taxi outside in the moonlit mist.

Inside, the so-called chums were rubbing their eyes, wondering if what they had just seen and heard was a nightmare or a dream. They soon found out it was reality when our mechanic sent them a picture of him riding in the backseat of a taxi with the super model on his lap via Facebook Messenger.

Now before our dear Kelowna Car-Truck Rental Blog readers freak out and get jealous, too, you should know it later turned out that this super model was merely trying to make another guy in the bar jealous with her generous display of charity, and she thought she could smack two guts with one hand by also making this greasy mechanic’s friends jealous. As soon as the taxi got six blocks away from the bar, the super model jumped out of the taxi and genuflected back to her hotel. But, of course, our mechanic would never share this truth and to this day his friends are still jealous!

We hope you enjoyed this true story and have a great 2019 New Year!

Why We Love the City of Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada SO MUCH!

kelowna bc

The staff here has imagined a life of comfort and fulfillment. We think it’s awesome to live a life towing and fixing cars in our city and we hope to relay the reasons why. Oh yeah, it’s so great to be a Kelowna-dweller that I just want to jump up and squeal like demented clown in the sewers. Welcome to our post and we hope you enjoy it because it’s one of our first ones and after revamping this blog we have you come down here to spend some time answering a serious question with us: why do we love living in Kelowna, British Colombia.

That’s a good question. I’ve been living here since I was a shorty, and all my homeys were, too.They hopped the block as a kids dreaming of fast cars and rich sunny days. How did we end up being so content with operating a towing and auto mechanic company in Kelowna BC? We have some good shot outs to say in that matter and we hope you enjoy the truth we’re giving here. As bloggers who work in the auto industry it’s a cool science-experiment to see how we’re so happy in Kelowna BC. Kelowna BC has the best workers and it’s so fun to be a member of life here.

We don’t play a lot but we love to work and we get deep, don’t sleep when we step on up to fix a car in Kelowna BC. We dreamed of living close to a lake as kids, with warm fires and loving wives and now we have it here in Canada, baby. Medieval Vikings would love pillaging us. We have it good.

Since it’s the story I can tell best, I’ll tell you about the reason why I, the writer of this post, personally loves Kelowna BC. My staff members have all kinds of reasons, but I love the lake that splits the city into two parts. I feel like a cool dude every time I drive across that sexy bridge. And I make enough money working in the auto industry to live well with my three kids and wife whom knows what’s up. Oh yeah, we get down in Kelowna BC. It’s a good life and it’s kind of neat to know it’s odd and rare. Not many people can say they love working with cars in a city they love.

canada

Oh yeah, Kelowna BC is so great. It’s awesome living here and I could go on for hours ranting about it but you don’t want to read that, so let’s get back to the question. We love Kelowna BC because WE GREW UP HERE! Hmm, not a surprise, eh? Oops, is the suspense of the super blog post spoiled? Not quite! We still have some secrets to share. If you’re looking to find a great life around trees, water, fish and pretty women, Kelowna BC is the city for you! Oh yeah, we love to go on fishing trips together and you might be wondering who “we” is but, trust me, I’m not insane. I work with a team–a plumber, a carpenter, six mechanics, and WE GET STUFF DONE!!!!!

Oh yeah, Kelowna was here the day I was born and I had my first kiss here, where I got my first dog, where I played ping-pong for the first time and where my mom lives. You got to respect that, G.

BTW, welcome to our blog and here’s five things we hope to share with you in the future!

  1. Cool information about Kelowna BC, Canada.
  2. Tips for fixing cars and odd general electric appliances.
  3. News and information about Canada in general.
  4. Stories about citizens in Kelowna BC, Canada, specifically.
  5. Advice for making a blog only a special few can understand!

Oh yeah, that was one of our first ramblings and I hope you’re looking forward to the next one. We’ve always dreamed of having a blog and we’re excited to be here with readers. Thanks!

Test Drive Our Blog!

kelowna

Looking for local news and info about automobiles in Kelowna? Welcome to our official blog!

Here’s a list of the cool stuff we wish to bring up over the years:

  • Stories about locals collecting cars and trucks.
  • Staff fishing trips.
  • Car racing video game Saturdays.
  • General Kelowna news updates.
  • Info on local businesses in British Columbia.
  • And a whole lot more!

So if you’re looking for what we have to offer, take us out for a test drive. Kelowna Auto offers rental and maintenance services, but this is just our official blog where we can forget about our professions to rant about whatever we feel is fitting at the time. We hope you enjoy and we thank you for visiting! Stay cool!