Somewhere in the misty winter streets of Kelowna BC, a greasy, pudgy mechanic left his house after watching a hockey game to celebrate the victory of his favorite team at the local bar. When he got there, his friends were already hammered cheering at the bar, yelling at the cute female bartender for more tequila. Our pudgy mechanic smiled at the sight and couldn’t wait to join his pals as he carried his chicken-filled gut across the dance floor, knocking scraggly dancers aside with ease. He was excited to join the drunken jollity, but when he reached the bar and sunk his inflated arse into a stool, his so-called chums stopped being so cordial and shifted away to the other side of the bar. Our mechanic, wondering why this could be, pulled out a two-week-old White Spot napkin from his pocket to blow his nose and ordered a glass of true Canadian whiskey on the rocks.
“What’s up with you losers sitting all the way over there?” asked our mechanic, swishing his whiskey around in his cheeks.
“Quite frankly,” responded a lanky, weaselly man with buck teeth, “you smell like two-day-old KFC.”
Our mechanic started laughing hysterically, spitting whiskey all over the bar and accidentally knocking a bowl of peanuts onto the floor with his massive gut. “That’s because I just ate a two-day-old bucket of chicken, you genius! What’s the matter? You can’t handle the smell of a real man?”
While our mechanic’s so-called buddies continued to frown, some of them plugging their noses, a beautiful super model visiting from California, with long legs that would make a giraffe drool, put her arm around our mechanic’s shoulder and, after taking a sniff, admitted, “There’s nothing more in this world I love more than the smell of a real man. Mmmm. And I must say, sir, you have the smell to make the Queen drop her wine glass. How about we get a taxi out of this place?”
Our mechanic dropped his draw, his eyes glued to this pretty woman’s cleavage, and murmured, “O-o-o-okay!” Within less than a minute from that moment, our mechanic and his super model friend were already flagging down a taxi outside in the moonlit mist.
Inside, the so-called chums were rubbing their eyes, wondering if what they had just seen and heard was a nightmare or a dream. They soon found out it was reality when our mechanic sent them a picture of him riding in the backseat of a taxi with the super model on his lap via Facebook Messenger.
Now before our dear Kelowna Car-Truck Rental Blog readers freak out and get jealous, too, you should know it later turned out that this super model was merely trying to make another guy in the bar jealous with her generous display of charity, and she thought she could smack two guts with one hand by also making this greasy mechanic’s friends jealous. As soon as the taxi got six blocks away from the bar, the super model jumped out of the taxi and genuflected back to her hotel. But, of course, our mechanic would never share this truth and to this day his friends are still jealous!
We hope you enjoyed this true story and have a great 2019 New Year!