I stopped watching The Simpsons years ago, but I can’t help feeling like Homer Simpson every time I wipe my greasy hands on my filthy overalls while working on a truck in the shop and start thinking about those cheesy little buggers known as cheese burgers. I close my eyes with my wrench in my hand and imagine it’s a slithery, fat burger with loads of cheese, pickles and whoppings of all other sorts of topics this article might reference in the footnotes.

I love the taste, the limitless beauty, the POWER!

Every time I go to work, I smile at myself in the mirror and say, “You’re doing it, man. You’re really doing it! You haven’t thought about cheese burgers yet today. Keep it up!”

But by the time lunch rolls around I fall on my knees and pray, “Please give me the power to get a salad, oh Lord!” And I want to say that this has been working. Even though I think about cheese burgers on the job to the point where it becomes a problem, I never eat them! This is my testimony, this is my dream coming true. I HAVE DONE IT!!!

Thank you so much for the support. I know you can do it, too. I feel your pain, sister!